Some Slope [Mis]haps

We would like to send out a message of solidarity to the people of Park Slope. It's been a rough Thanksgiving weekend for our fellow Slopers and it seems some of the unfortunate events will continue into the week...

It seems that the internet has taken a vacation of it's own. It left the Slope high, dry, and email-free this weekend and is still on the fritz. Time Warner Cable is "experiencing some outages" currently...and an immense amount of ill will. Stay strong Time Warner patrons and start looking into WiFi!

Not only does Park Slope need to grieve over the loss of the world wide web, but it also needs to watch out for the theft of their computers! A rash of burglaries broke out over the weekend. These plunderers are out for your ipods, computers, and televisions. So, during this holiday season make sure to keep those technological gadgets locked up (and unplugged if leaving town)!

With Thanksgiving out of the way, surely everyone has bloated bellies, overstocked refrigerators, and... plentiful piles of recycling! Our friends over at Fucked in Park Slope noticed the recycling inundation most prominently as The Food Coop struck again, inciting communal exasperation. Since Park Slope's Food Coop recycles certain plastics that the City of New York does not, things got a little out of hand this last Sunday as Slopers dashed to dump their Thanksgiving refuse! There are other times to deposit your No. 1-4 plastics, Go Greeners!

...but we think everyone should stick to their yoga breathing exercises, continue the spirit of Thanksgiving, and keep calm and carry on...

[Sh]it's going down! Turkey Style.

Come on over to The Bell House this evening for various "Pre-Thanksgiving" activities. (Alcohol will be a key part of the events, needless to say.) The activities include a happy hour with $1 off all drinks at $4 pints, a scavenger hunt, and an after party.

Teams consist of 2-4 people, and if anything, the free shots provided along the way are extra incentive.

Contact scavengerhunt@thebellhouseny.com to register your team!

Because you deserve to be proud of that Thanksgiving dinner.

As Thanksgiving approaches, it seems only appropriate to start talking food. And not just food, but gluttonous amounts of tradition and family togetherness graciously offered in honor of the very birth of our country. Which means it better be effing good, and it damn well better outdo every Thanksgiving dinner your guests have ever experienced, even Grandma's famous home-cooked feast.

That's why we're going to start with the basics: deboning the turkey. Brooklyn Kitchen is offering a class this Sunday to teach you how to most humanely mutilate that 20-pound bird to fully avoid any possibility of Grandad choking on a turkey bone.

And what's a better way to really wow the fam than with a truly traditional meal straight out of the 17th century? Before diving into the bird for yourself, experience that historicism at the Old Stone House in Park Slope as Sarah Lohman cooks up a real Thanksgiving dinner, plum pudding and all.

For those of you facing a sudden onslaught of uninvited guests of guests, remember to review Brokelyn's guide to cheap organic turkeys to alleviate the stress of feeding that army you call family.